A Newly Discovered Species of Lizard with Distinctive Triangular Scales

I am Charles Darwin. I eat owlflesh at Cambridge University.

I have discovered something, an entirely new species

with tropical fever in its reptile fingers. I am busy

with taxonomying its most peculiar and three-sided

armor, its six-toed fitness for these latitudes and its perfect

speckled eggs like forlorn lovenotes, black mammalian eyes pinpricked

with blue as if caught in headlights suddenly. I’ve isolated

a cold-weathered ancestor in its DNA. I’m going to clone

its terrible antlered children, its swarming descendants, outsource

its coiled vertebrate progenitors to secret facilities

hungry for fresh IP. I’ve obtained Steven Spielberg to direct

the lizard’s biography. I will name it after royalty. I am

deliriously pleased. I find myself full of discovery.

I am homesick, boat-sick. I am hotel-room-sick. I want to go home.